YOU NEED TO KNOW: When you read this, it could completely change your life.  It may start a whole new way of thinking you may have not realized.  When I learned the concept of LOVE vs. FEAR, it was so eye-opening that I cried.  I literally cried my eyes out at how much it made sense.  My whole life opened with new meaning.  I had new lenses in my glasses.  I saw the light.  I woke up.  My glass became ½ full instead of ½ empty!  The elephant moved off my back!  I could taste the coffee.  (Crio Bru for me!)  The lightning struck.  

Are you getting the point?   This concept changed me to my core.  

So, what’s the big deal?!

I’m not sure I can share with you even a small part of what I learned & do it justice.  But, I’m going to try. 

It all comes down to this:

There are ONLY 2 choices we make in our lives.  ONLY 2.  (Stay with me here.  It will all make sense.)

Every single day we make thousands of choices.   

Every single one of those choices are made out of LOVE or FEAR.  

And…(this is the important part)…making the choice out of LOVE will always be the right choice.

(Mic drop)

Let’s look at some choices you made today.  Anything.  Write down at least 4.  (I’ll wait!)

Here’s a few I made in the past few hours:

1. I made a choice to wake up at 5:00 am. 
2. I made a choice to give my husband a hug & kiss before arising. 
3. I made a choice to not exercise.
4. I made a choice to not check my phone messages until after I finished writing this Blog.  

Let’s analyze my above choices.  Ready?

1. The choice to wake up at 5:00 was out of LOVE for myself & LOVE for what I do and I’ll include LOVE for my kids.  WHY?  It would have been easy to stay in bed a little longer.  (Today is Saturday!)  But, I have a deep desire & LOVE for the people I serve.  I want to share my life experiences in hopes others can learn from what I’ve been through.  I have a LOVE for my children & I know if I can get my work down early in the morning while they’re sleeping, I’ll have more time to spend with them later.  LOVE for myself because waking up early keeps me proactive & on top of my day instead of reactive & feeling behind.  NOW…I could have also chosen to wake up at 5:00 out of FEAR!!  (Mmm Hmm)  If I was afraid I wasn’t going to reach a deadline & felt I HAD to get up to get it done, that would be out of FEAR.  I would have probably had a negative attitude about it.  I may have grumbled & then complained about feeling tired the rest of the day because I woke up so early.  I also had a choice to not wake up at 5:00 am at all.  What if I slept in until 8:00?  That could also go both ways.  Maybe LOVE for my husband who enjoys  snuggling & would have loved me staying in bed a little longer.  Or, I stayed in bed longer out of FEAR that I would be tired the rest of the day.  Either way, when I make the choice out of LOVE, it’s my mind & attitude that makes the shift & I am living in my authentic self.
2. The choice to give my husband a hug & kiss before arising was out of LOVE for him!  (and for myself!) 🙂  Now, I will say this…in the past, I’ve done that out of FEAR.  Let’s explore that.  I’ve been married 26 years & some of those years were not so fun.  We were separated 2 different times.  Many times, I would hug & kiss him out of fear of him feeling that I wasn’t affectionate enough with him.  (His love language is touch.)  When you do anything out of FEAR, you’re going to resent doing it.  If it doesn’t come from an authentic place (which is LOVE), it will not ever be something that connects you to the other person.  EVER.  My learning to open my heart & LOVE authentically in this way has been a BIG change in our marriage.  There are still times I don’t really feel close to him & yet I chose to still hug him out of LOVE!  The truth his – I’m not a hugger.  It’s not my natural thing to do.  I just didn’t grow up being hugged.  (I was LOVED dearly by my parents, but it was shown other ways.)  But, I know Jeff loves to be hugged.  And, when I chose to HUG him out of LOVE instead of FEAR – the connection is REAL!  (I just have to make the switch in my head.)  Then, that hug is done authentically. He feels it from me too.  Game changer for our marriage!
3. The choice to not exercise was actually one made out of FEAR.  (gulp!)  This is a really good self-analyzation for me.  I used to get up every single morning & exercise.  As of this writing, I am not exercising & have gotten out of the habit.  And…it’s FEAR that’s keeping me from doing it.  What’s my FEAR?  I’ll just be very, very open & honest here.  Fear of being seen by others because I’ve gained some weight.  Fear of people asking to exercise with me because I prefer to exercise alone & listen to my headphones.  Fear of not having enough time in my day because it takes me 2 hours to exercise & get cleaned up.  There are more, but you get my point.  If I truly, deep down whole-heartedly LOVED my body, I would put all those fears to the side & do what I know is best for my body.  I’m also choosing to NOT beat myself up about this out of LOVE for myself.  See how this works?!?  I could easily get down about it & get so mad that I’m not exercising.  But, as I write this, we’re on lock down during Covid & emotionally – I’m drained.  Out of LOVE for myself, I am choosing to think this – “You are doing the best you can during a hard time.  You’ll get back to exercising when you’re ready.”   That choice keeps me positive & looking forward to what’s coming instead of beating myself up today.
4. The choice to not check my phone messages until I finished writing this blog was done out of LOVE for myself.  However; I can honestly say that this has been done out of FEAR in the past.  Let’s look at this choice a little closer.   I run an on-line business.  The majority of my business is not done in person.  I get texts, messages, facebook alerts, slack alerts….etc. all day long.  When I wake up in the morning, there are a slew of notifications waiting for me.  In the past, I would immediately start responding to the messages as soon as I woke up & get drug into that never-ending hole.  One message leads to another & I find that 2 hours later, I’m still on my phone!  I can easily get drug into the Facebook pit!   And, anytime I do that – I am not setting ME as a priority.  I used to not answer messages in the morning out of FEAR that I would get caught in that trap & waste so much time.  Now?  I don’t answer the messages out of LOVE for myself.  I need that time in the morning to truly center myself & be aligned with what I want to accomplish.  That keeps me proactive instead of reactive.  See the difference here?  I was making the same decision to NOT check my phone in both situations.  One was out of FEAR & the other out of LOVE!  When I chose LOVE, my entire attitude changed.  I am now living authentically.  I’m true to myself.  I don’t have anger or bitterness. I’m not complaining about it.

The next decision I make today will be what I make & eat for breakfast.  I get to choose if I’m going to make the decision out of LOVE or FEAR.  Can you see how there really is NO OTHER CHOICE?  

All choices come down to these 2 things.  We make thousands of small choices all day long.  Every day…until we die!

I used to be so overwhelmed about all those choices!

I’d be overwhelmed about how to live my life because I felt some of the choices I made were so HUGE!!!

“What do I do?”  

“How will it affect me?”  

“How do I know?”  

“What if it isn’t the right choice?”

I’d stay stagnant because I wouldn’t make a choice.  (Funny how not making a choice was out of FEAR!!)  

All confusion about my choices is now gone.  

If the next choice I make is done out of LOVE, it’s the right choice!

My life became simplified by this one very simple, yet powerful thing.  

LOVE.  It’s always the best choice.  Every. Single. Time.

If you’d like to read more about Love vs. Fear, read the book “Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson.  Here’s a link to get it at Amazon.  (I am not an affiliate and make nothing from this purchase.)